New Years Eve resolutions never fail. Most people’s resolution after ringing in the new year is to either lose weight, tone up or just have an overall healthier lifestyle. Listen, I am all for that. I would never be unsupportive of anyone trying to improve their health. BUT, what I am not supportive of is all the New Years gym noobs who will undoubtedly join the gym for a few months before calling it quits all the while they display ZERO gym etiquette. Don’t get me wrong, there are more than enough regular gym goers who for some reason can’t understand the concept of re-racking a weight. However, it seems as though once January rolls around, all of this ridiculous nonsense is intensified.
So if you are new to a gym or even if you are a regular and you don’t practice proper gym etiquette; keep on reading. If you are the rare few who practices proper etiquette, read on anyways, as you’ll sure to get a good laugh in when you think to yourself “so true” on almost every point
1: Re-rack your damn weight. If you have the strength to pick it up, you should have the strength to put it back. That doesn’t mean drop it in on the floor in front of where it’s supposed to go. In case this explanation is still too difficult to fully comprehend, this also doesn’t mean you put the 50lb dumbbells in the 15lb spot or the 80lb barbell where the 30lb goes. It’s a simple concept really: pick it up, put it down. In the right spot.
2. You’re not using the machine? Great, now get your towel off of it. There’s nothing worse than walking up to a piece of equipment and seeing a nasty, sweaty towel on it. You’re left wasting time looking around to see if anyone is using it and interrupting those around you to ask if anyone is. It’s reckless, annoying and quite frankly…disgustingly unsanitary. So stop being lazy and take your nasty towel with you. Oh, but before you do so, wipe down your sweaty ass print.
3. Working in – just do it. Gyms have limited equipment, and especially around New Years, the gym is more crowded than ever. If someone asks you if they can work in…don’t be a douche…be considerate and allow them to. This is especially aggravating when someone does 5 reps and rests on the machine for 5 minutes before doing another set. I could have done 4 sets and been done within that amount of time. Don’t be an ass. If you don’t oblige, just remember that karma is a bitch. The next time you’re on your last exercise and need to use the leg press machine but someone won’t let you work in….I won’t feel bad for you.
4. Don’t be a pussy...leave your phone in your locker. Is it so hard to not have your phone attached to your hip for one hour? With certain situations exempt, like if you’re waiting for an important phone call or you have left your kids at home and you only feel comfortable if you have your phone with you, then stop being so reliant on technology. Man the fuck up and go workout. Besides, how do you think you’re going to get a good workout in when you’re talking/texting more than you’re actually lifting? It’s especially aggravating when you’re sitting on a machine for 5+ minutes, not doing a damn thing, and talking to your girlfriend about your new nail polish. Guess what? I don’t give a flying fuck, nor does anyone else. Guys…this goes for you too…because you are equally as guilty. & yes, if you do this, I’m calling you a pussy.
5. Curling in the squat rack. For god sakes, don’t do it! It’s called a squat rack for a reason...it’s used for squatting. How would you like it if I went and squatted in the curl rack? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
6. Stealing plates. Let me illustrate a typical scenario for you. Someone is on a bench, with fairly substantial weight on either side of the bar. They get up to get or do something. Their towel AND water are sitting on the bench. It’s apparent they are coming back. DO NOT TOUCH THEIR WEIGHT. There are a handful of other plates you can take from the weight rack. I guarantee if you take a 45lb plate from only one end (or even both) and that person comes back to finish their sets…it’s a distinct possibility they will throw a weight at your small brained head. Not only is it irritating as all hell, but if there is an uneven amount of weight on the bar, they could seriously injure themselves.
7. Lastly, don’t ogle. I get it, there are attractive people at the gym. It’s also not easy when some attention whore is dead lifting in shorts that are buried all the way up her ass crack. And some exercises would naturally put someone in fairly compromising positions; such as bent over rows, hip thrusts, glute kick backs, etc. However, it’s creepy…and weird. Just mind your own business and get to your own workout.
Now that I’ve illustrated a handful of the most highly offensive gym faux pas, please take these into consideration. I promise you the next time you step into the gym, you won’t get the death stares from those of us who know how to re-rack a weight or two.
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