ECED IS GETTING A MAKEOVER!

I have some very exciting news! ECED is getting a complete and total make over! New name, new webpage & new design! I'm pretty excited about the new change, and it's been more of a personal decision than anything. The new blog is going to touch on more than just training and eating clean. It's going to be more of a lifestyle blog; on everything from training, eating clean, relationships, life and the journey that I've been on so far. It's all in the works as we speak and I'll update once the new blog is completely 100% set up!

Slow Progress is Still Progress

It's been a while since I've posted, as most of us are, I've been insanely busy all summer and trying to sort some things out in my life. This summer has been a tough few months for me training wise. Disregarding the physical injuries or set backs I've had...it's been more of a psychological struggle than anything. Most people who don't share the same sort of passion for lifting as we do think that you just go to the gym to work out for physical appearance and repeat. Though what most fail to realize, is that it's much more than that. Of course we all exercise for vanity, and anyone who says they don't, are lying. We want to look good and reach whatever physical goals we set out for ourselves. But it goes far beyond and much deeper than that. If you take the physical aspect out of the equation, you'll see the psychological effect it has on us. Strength is a huge component for me. Not for the fact of being able to boast about how much I can squat or what my bench PR is, but for myself. To challenge and push myself further each time. To reach new goals and once I've reached those, then to set new ones. It's a constant and always evolving process, which keeps things interesting and mixes it up.

What I mean by this summer has been a physiological struggle, is exactly that. I've mind fucked myself in every which way possible. It's difficult to admit when you're wrong or when you realize that you've been doing things completely ass backwards for months, but that's exactly what I've been doing. I listened to what other people told me to do, which was vastly based on bro science, and just took their word for it without really researching on my own. I've read hundreds of articles, but didn't consider the source, so just assumed because it was published it had to be right. I focused solely on bodybuilding training and it didn't even occur to me to look at the whole picture. Basically, I've been training incorrectly and nonfunctional for months.

Due to this, I’ve had to throw everything I’ve ever known out the window and start from scratch, which is a difficult thing to do, particularly for someone as stubborn as myself. It’s hard to unlearn what you’ve been practicing for months. However, after a series of injuries and lack of progress, I was left with no choice and decided to forget

everything and listen to my boyfriend 100%. It hasn’t only been emotionally taxing because physically I’m not in a place I want to be physically, which is incredibly discouraging to say the least, but it’s been even more of a distress to acknowledge everything I’ve been doing wrong and have to start from scratch. I’ve felt as though I’m back at square one. Although now in the past few weeks I’m seeing more progress physically and strength wise than I’ve seen in months, at the beginning I could tell my strength faltered and that is something that really got to me. I've been discouraged and far too critical of myself. 

I've come to the realization that this isn't an overnight process. Especially considering I've had so many hurdles to jump through these past few months, this is going to take some time. And quite frankly, if all our goals just got handed to us overnight, what is to come of that? You wouldn’t get the same satisfaction knowing that you’ve been working your ass off for however long to get there. There’d be nothing to work towards day after day, nothing to drive you and it’d be boring as hell. Slow progress is still progress. Even if you don’t see or feel any changes, every day you get your ass off the couch and go to the gym, you are one step closer to your goals than you were the day before. Don’t rush the process, you’ll only end up cheating and hurting yourself in the long run. Take it one day at a time. 

So try not to get so down on yourself, because when you’re stuck in such a negative rut, it’s even more difficult to pull yourself out and be focused on what you really should be concentrating on. Most importantly, think about the bigger picture. If you’re just getting over an injury, train smart and think about how far you’ve come so far. If you feel as though you’ve reached a plateau, do something about it, don’t wallow about it. Try something new and realize how much better you were than even six months ago. Take your time and enjoy the ride. Learn about yourself and how your own body works, it'll thank you for it in the end. The biggest piece of advice I can give you, thanks to the help and guidance of my incredible boyfriend, is to look at the bigger picture. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place.

Haters Gonna Hate

It’s a sad world we live in where every single shape and size is criticized. You’re either too fat, too thin or too muscular. It’s a fact of life that you are never going to be able to please everyone, nor should you try to. However, I think it’s truly disheartening that in today’s day and age people are so damn cruel. If a woman is ten pounds heavier than the “ideal” body type or ten pounds thinner…they get so much damn backlash for it. Not to mention the scrutiny that a fit and toned woman has to endure just because she has a more defined figure than what society has deemed beautiful.

 

Let me start off by saying, if you are judging a woman (or anyone for that matter) because they are heavier or thinner then what you think they should be, you can go to hell. Just because you’re insecure and not confident in yourself doesn’t give you the right to project that shit onto other people. For starters, you don’t know that persons story or their struggles. Secondly, perhaps that is THEIR ideal body type, tough shit if it’s not yours. Maybe they feel best when they have a few more curves on them or are thin and svelte. I am in no way advocating obesity or being emaciated by any means, because of course I promote and encourage a healthy lifestyle, but a few pounds extra or less is nothing to criticize someone for. Even if they were extremely over or under weight…does they’re weight really affect your life that much? Do you not have anything better to do throughout your day then put others down for their appearance? If you’re answering yes, you should seek therapy, because you have issues. 

 

What is even more infuriating and bewildering is that there are so many people who disparage fit women. Most of society, in my opinion, still has the idea that a woman is meant to be “soft”. If someone came around and told me I was soft, they’d get a dumbbell thrown at their head. The misconception that being muscular isn’t feminine or accepted amongst woman kind completely blows my mind. But those who think that are right, it isn’t feminine, it’s fucking bad ass.

 

Just because you don’t think that is sexy or attractive, doesn’t mean that person doesn’t. Do you think that reproaching a woman for being too “muscular”, “manly” or “gross” is going to make the slightest difference? She’s clearly put in work to look the way she does, and you’re going to discourage that….what’s the point? Do you think she lifts for your approval or that she really gives a flying fuck what you think of her? No. She doesn’t work out for you. She has set her own personal goals that she’s worked her ass off to achieve. She lifts as a release. Her workouts are her own form of therapy. She lifts for herself. I personally, don’t lift for anyone else, but I’ll be damned if someone discredits my hard work just because they’re a little bitch. I can probably attest for most women with that statement.

 

If you don’t want a muscular body, then guess what, you don’t have to have one. 

 

WAIT…WHAT?! MIND…BLOWN!

 

I have actually seen more men put down a fit and muscular woman amongst a variety of fitness blogs and facebook pages. That just flat out disgusts me. What actual man sits there and puts down a woman’s body? A man who clearly is missing his balls, and who doesn’t even lift. 

 

Here is my logic for why anyone would criticize a fit woman. 

 

1. They’re too lazy to get off their ass and do something about their current physical state. 
2.  Jealous that this person has the motivation, dedication and determination to lift the way they do.
3. They're a pussy.
4. Insecure with their own selves and lash out on others because they can’t achieve the same goals.
5. Intimidated by a strong woman...in which case, refer to #3.

To date, this is still one of my favorite quotes, and really puts a lot into perspective.
    
                      "Haters hate. Some people will bring you down when they see you changing,
                      evolving and becoming better. It is because somehow they  have to make
                      themselves feel better because they lack the willpower to do what you are doing.
                      Ignore them".

 

I can guarantee that every single person who sits there and pokes fun at something about someone else, is far from having the perfect body themselves. But that’s the thing, there is no perfect body. While my ideal body type could be diesel to the likes of Dana Linn Bailey, another person’s ideal body might be softer and curvaceous similar to Marilyn Monroe. & that’s OK! To this day, I don't understand why so many people think that everyone should look the same.
 

What's even more disgusting when perfectly beautiful and healthy women in Hollywood are crucified for their weight. Every single pound is monitored by the press. There are wars breaking out and huge political battles, and you’re more concerned with the extra five pounds Kim Kardashian has put on? Some people truly do want to watch the world burn. This is one of the main reasons why there are so many young girls suffering from eating disorders, because society has engrained in their head that they have to look a certain way in order to considered beautiful and socially acceptable. I could rant for hours on the link between the media and eating disorders, but perhaps I’ll save that subject for another post.  

 

So, stop being a straight up jackass by judging everyone around you based on their physical appearance. Go spend your time doing something productive to society, otherwise you’re honestly just a waste of space. Why don’t you get your own issues straightened out before you put your bullshit on others. You're not better than anyone else. You're just a hater.

  

 

Now ladies, keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t listen to any of the bullshit that is spewed from other people’s mouths. Live for yourself. Adhere to your own sense of beauty, not anyone else’s.

Scoliosis....you sure are one huge bitch.

Injuries suck. Point blank. There’s no way to get around that fact. If you’re an athlete, a gym rat, or hell…even human….you’ve probably had an injury or two. Having been an athlete and spending much of my time confined within the walls of the gym, I’ve suffered a handful of injuries, probably too many to count. Recently, I did exactly that. Two injuries in two weeks…so not ideal.

It’s Sunday, leg day. The week prior I had hit my own PR of 205lbs x 6 reps. So I try banging it out again during this next work out. Nailed it. I’m feeling good, great actually. So I decide to go for 215lbs x 6. I get to 4 reps without a problem, and my left low back snaps. I thought maybe it was just a muscle spasm, so I rack the weight and rest for a bit. I strip the weight down to 175lbs, try to bang out 12 reps. Two reps in and I was shot. So I racked the weight and literally just walked out of the gym.

I haven’t pulled a muscle in my back that bad since last summer when I completely threw my back out. I let a couple weeks go by, resting it and taking it easy. Two weeks later, it’s still bothering me, and then all of a sudden, doing nothing in particular, my knee starts swelling up and is so damn tender that I can’t even walk or stand on it. 

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have scoliosis. It’s not a terribly extreme case, but I have just enough of a curvature that prohibits me from being able to do a lot of things easily that other people find to be no problem, like standing for more than 30 minutes without extreme pain. Due to this, without even realizing it, I’ve created some muscular imbalances and weakened the intrinsic muscles that you normally don’t work out at the gym, that I’m much more susceptible to injury. It’s been a huge hindrance for the past decade or so to say the least. I hadn’t been X-rayed or even had it looked at since I was first diagnosed, so I decided to make a physical therapy and doctor’s appointment. 

Physical therapy sounds like it’d be a breeze, but I was nervous as all hell, to put it lightly. I suppose I was expecting the worst news possible. But I finally went...and nailed it. I actually really enjoyed it...although I found out I was kind of more fucked up that I thought.

Basically, although I do have a curvature in my spine, that wasn’t contributing to most of my pain. My hips seem to be the culprit. From the scoliosis and poor posture to 15 years of dancing, my hips have developed an extreme anterior pelvic tilt. So basically, it looks like I’m arching my back and trying to stick my ass out…but that’s literally how my body is aligned. Because of this poor alignment, my hips have been pulling on all of my back muscles (which has been the main cause of my pain) and in turn, effecting my IT band (in addition to the fact that I don’t stretch it as much as I should) which has caused my knee to flare up. My spine I can’t correct, just prevent from getting worse. However, I can correct my hips over time, in which I’ll be going to physical therapy every week for. 

It all makes sense now, by squatting with such an extreme pelvic tilt, I’ve been placing such an immense amount of stress on my low back for the past 6 months. Had I known about this tilt, I could have focused on it during my squats and prevented this from happening. But how am I supposed to know any better…that’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember. So now I feel like I’m starting over. I can’t squat or deadlift as heavy until my form is absolutely perfect and my hips are corrected more. I have to say, it’s quite the blow to my ego, and I’ve been pissed off for weeks. I’d be lying if I didn’t get down on myself and a little depressed about the whole thing. 

But one day, I was venting to a friend and something they said made me realize that I’ve been acting like an idiot. My scoliosis is not the end of the world. Sure, it’s a chronic condition that I will always have to deal with, but I’m not paralyzed or anything. There are people who’ve lost limbs, who have serious diseases and who are even on their death bed. I’m lucky and fortunate enough to not be one of them. In addition to all of that, I’m able to do more and lift heavier weight than a lot of people in the gym who are perfectly healthy. & the fact that I have this hindrance and I’ve still been able to do what I’ve been doing, isn’t all that bad. 

If any of you have or are currently suffering any injuries, the best advice I can give you is to rest and take it easy. Listen to your body. Don't push yourself further than you're capable of going and surely don't sacrifice form for weight.

So, I’m setting my ego and my emotions to the side, and focusing on getting myself back together. If I have to squat and dead lift much lighter weight until my hips can support it, so be it. In the long run, it’s the smartest move possible. 

But let’s be honest…scoliosis….you sure are one huge bitch.

It doesn't count unless you're ASS TO GRASS!

 

It’s no secret that there is an ever growing epidemic of those who skip leg day. If you don’t know me, or haven’t been following this blog for very long, I’ll tell you right now that legs are my favorite muscle group to train. It completely boggles my mind when people just skip leg day completely. I’m sorry, are your legs not a part of your body? Please tell me again how you “go hard” at the gym when you don’t squat or deadlift. Your legs represent the largest muscles in your body and are an integral source of power….SO WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU TRAINING THEM?!

What completely confounds me even more is when people train them incorrectly. When did quarter squats become sufficient? I didn’t realize that the laws of bodybuilding had suddenly changed and now half squats produce significant gains. Perhaps I’m being a little harsh, because I understand that compound exercises likes squats and dead lifts are difficult to master to a novice of sorts. However, it’s common sense to research proper technique a few times before you try performing the exercise. So let’s say you actually have research the exercise, but are still unsure how to do it. If you’re a member of a gym, which I’m going to assume yes because most people…particularly beginners…don’t have a squat rack in their home, chances are you have a lot of resources (like personal trainers) at your disposal. Ask. Feel stupid asking for help? I can understand that, but you’re going to feel a lot stupider when you blow out your knees mid squat and need medical assistance to be escorted out of the building.

So, on that note, let me help you perform the perfect squat. Before I get into proper technique, I’m going to tell you right now to leave your ego at the door. You think because you can throw up 250lbs on the bench doesn’t mean you can squat the same amount of weight…especially when you never train legs in the first place. So quit trying to be some macho meathead and pick a weight that is suitable for you. It’s smarter to train with less weight, but proper form and a full range of motion, than it is to rack a bunch of plates on the bar. Ok, now that that’s out of the way….

STANCE:

Before you actually squat, you want to pay attention to your stance, foot and toe placement. This sets the tone for the rest of your set, and if this is thrown off, your squats are going to be shit. Use an athletic stance, which means your knees are slightly bent, feet are firmly planted and your toes are slightly pointed outwards. In terms of how narrow or wide your feet are apart, is entirely up to you. The wider your stance, your glutes and hamstrings will be worked more. However, with a narrower stance, your quadriceps's are going to be emphasized more.


HIP HINGE:

Your hip hinge is probably one of the most important aspects to a proper squat form. As you lower down into a squat, you want to hinge your hips so that your butt moves backward. Don’t think you’re doing it right? Check your knee and toe alignment. If your knees are over your toes, you’re not hinging back far enough. When your knees protrude further than your toes, you’re putting all the stress of the squat onto your knees and not even working the leg muscles at all, and that’s the whole point isn’t it? Furthermore, make sure that the pressure is on your heels and not on your toes. This way, you will be able to get more depth in your squat. If you can only squat a few inches down, it doesn’t count. Unload the weight until you’re able to go AT LEAST parallel…although preferably slightly below. ASS TO GRASS!

SPINAL ALIGNMENT:

One mistake I often see is people rounding their necks. This throws your spinal alignment completely off and can make you prone to numerous injuries. Keep your head up and eyes straight. In addition to this, rounding your chest and shoulders will also affect your spinal alignment. By keeping your chest out and shoulders back, your lower back is more likely to have the most natural curve; preventing lower back strain. Speaking of lower back…DO NOT ARCH IT! The squat can be an extremely dangerous exercise, and when you’re lifting heavy weight it puts a ton of stress on your lower back, so you have to pay extra attention to this. Keep your lower back as flat as possible. By hyperextending by arching or rounding too much, you could rupture a disk. Trust me, that’s the absolute last thing you want to do.

BREATHING:

Lastly, focus on your breathing. Squatting is an intense exercise and I imagine you don’t want to feel lightheaded, nauseous or possibly black out simply because you haven’t controlled your breathing. It’s fairly simple actually. As you lower, breathe in. As you push back up, breathe out with force. If you need to take an extra breath before you perform your next rep, do so.

So there you have it, how to perform the perfect squat. Now, go lift something.

Your workout means nothing without a CLEAN diet

An inside look at everything that goes into my mouth

By popular demand, I’ve decided to write about what I eat on a typical day. So here we are, discussing every tiny morsel of food that I have to force down my pallet. What I’m about to divulge isn’t pretty, and it may not be what you want to hear that you have to eat in order to live a healthier lifestyle, but it’s the honest truth.

My morning meals are staples, and hardly ever change. Mainly because these are foods that I know I never grow sick of. Peanut butter? No way, I could live off of that if I could. Oatmeal? Not a chance.

7am: Wake up, two full glasses of water mixed with glutamine. 7:45am: Breakfast – 5 egg whites, 2 eggs mixed with two forms of vegetables (lately I’ve been partial to peppers and mushrooms) and two slices of whole wheat toast topped with all natural peanut butter (not that jiffy shit either). 9am: Coffee. I used to drink my coffee fully loaded with milk and artificial sweeteners…but in the past few months I’ve cut down from 5 packets of Truvia, to only one. That, my friends, is an enormous feat. Because I used to absolutely cringe at the taste of coffee with even 3 packets of Truvia. It wasn’t easy though, I weaned off of it, much like a crack addict. Every couple of weeks I would eliminate one packet of Truvia from my morning coffee. To be perfectly honest, I’ve noticed a bit of a difference in my digestive system too. I’d always have stomach pains shortly after my coffee, and now I know who the culprit was. So word of advice, cut the refined and fake sugars. Don’t be a pussy, just do it. 10am: ½ cup of oatmeal, ¾ cup of blueberries, 1 scoop of protein powder and some cinnamon.

 The remainder of my day’s meals are also pretty standard, but change a bit on occasion. The #1 rule of thumb that I abide by is to always have a protein, carbohydrate and vegetable source with every meal and contain either protein, carbohydrate or both with whatever snack I’m having.

12:00-12:30pm: This is my least favorite time of the day to eat. But I have to force it down. Chicken, brown rice, vegetables. OR Turkey burger, sweet potato, vegetables. OR Steak (this usually only happens once or twice a week), quinoa, vegetables. 2:00pm: Handful of nuts, piece of fruit or something along the lines of carrots, celery, etc. 3:30pm: By this time I could have a full meal again, but I head straight to the gym right after work and I don’t like to be too full. But whatever snack I do have, I make sure has a high protein content. Plain greek yogurt, ¼ cup of oats and a banana. OR Cottage cheese with cucumbers. 5:00pm: Whey protein shake + carb powder + creatine 6:00pm: LIFTING TIME! I drink glutamine and BCAA’s during my workout. 8:00pm: Whey protein shake + carb powder + creatine. 9:30pm: Fish (usually tilapia, sometimes salmon) and vegetables. 11:00pm: Casein protein shakes right before bed.

 I won’t lie, this shit gets boring. I made the mistake of eating literally the exact same thing day in and day out for two and a half solid months. I got to a point where the thought of chicken made me nauseous. But trying to force it down was an entirely different story. I actually ended up taking a two week hiatus from chicken entirely, thus my introduction of turkey and steak.   

My diet is clean and basic. Eating is not meant to be rocket science. Eat your vegetables and fruit. Stick to whole grains. Include a variety of grass fed meat sources (unless you’re a vegetarian and then that’s a whole other ball park). Eat the RIGHT carbs & fats. Eliminate sugars, prepackaged chemical cluster fuck foods and minimize sodium. If you can’t pronounce an ingredient, don’t eat it. Eat organic when possible. Drink a ton of water. There, that’s literally it. Oh, and drink water...a lot of water. I drink at least a gallon a day. Many underestimate the importance of drinking water. You may frequent yourself to the bathroom about a dozen times more than usual, but your body will thank you for it.

I am human after all, and I’d be lying to you all if I said I NEVER had a cheat meal. Because quite honestly, sometimes all I want is a big plate of ravioli or an enormous platter of fried calamari. So in an attempt to keep my sanity, I do have cheat meals here and there. Keep in mind, when I say cheat meals, that doesn’t mean I go out and completely gorge myself. Still be mindful of what you’re eating, practice portion control so you don’t go off the deep end (trust me; it’s happened to me far too many times to count).
So there you have it. Everything I put into my mouth from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I don’t whip up any fancy recipes, I wish I did, I just don’t have the time. So I keep it simple. Whatever your goals are; whether it’s to lose weight, tone up, gain weight, etc., you’re eating should be relatively the same. Clean, healthy food.    

Tough shit if my gym shorts don't get your dick hard.

You know that feeling when you read an article an it instantly infuriates you? Well, I’m feeling that at this exact moment, and I’ll tell you why. During my morning ritual of reading the news online, I came across an article on MSN titled “Guy’s take on: Your spring outfits”. I’ll start by saying that I hate any articles of this nature where these people write about what men think about anything from your hair color down to the polish on your toes. But I figured I’d read it and see what bullshit they were blabbing about this time.

First of all, these so called “studies” are absolutely asinine because they only post the opinions of three, maybe four men. So that’s what women are dressing for these days…the opinions of four college boys? Fuck that. If I want to rock a maxi dress with over sized sunglasses, I’ll damn well do it. I don’t give a shit if Jon from Vassar College likes it or not, and you shouldn’t either. If Jon from Vassar College doesn’t like the way you dress, then chances are he isn’t the man for you. Instead, perhaps Parker from UCLA loves your style just the way it is. Every human being on this earth is attracted to something different and has a different style than the rest, and that is perfectly fine. But to constantly write articles telling women how they should dress based on how men perceive them, is absolutely fucking ridiculous. 

The portion of this despicable excuse for an article that really sent me over the edge, was the section on what guys think of sportswear. I’ll just show you a few of the remarks that were posted.

 I’ve never understood this. Don't you ladies understand that we’re attracted to you because you’re women? We don't want you to dress like us.” –Louis, University of Connecticut
 
“She looks like a Marine. I'm not into girls who look like they can beat me up.” –Jon, Vassar College

“I feel like if you’re going to look like you’re going to the gym, there’s no way to dress that up.” –Jason, University of New Hampshire–Manchester

“I don’t find sportswear sexy–except for yoga pants.” –Robbie, University of Maryland

Really? So because we’re not prancing around in see through shirts, tight ass skirts and 6” heels…we aren’t considered women? I don’t understand how so called “men” are so intimidated by a strong woman; physically and mentally. If you were a real man, you would be secure and confident with yourself that you’d be able to handle a strong woman. But clearly, the vast majority of the male population are insecure little bitches.

If I’m going to work out, I’m not just walking on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I’m pushing some heavy fucking weight, so excuse me if I don’t want to wear some prissy, girly gliterry shit or shorts that could double as underwear. Instead, I’ll throw on my Nike pants, a racerback and sweatshirt and call it a day. If you don’t find me sexy or attractive, that’s awesome for me, because then you won’t be a jerk off and interrupt my set just to hit on me. Here’s a newsflash for you; most women who are serious about lifting, don’t go to the gym to pick up men…so I don’t give a fuck if my workout clothes turn you on or not. Let’s say that I’m not going to the gym, let’s pretend that I’m out and about running errands and just feel like wearing active wear instead of getting all dolled up just to go to the grocery store. Tough shit if my gym shorts don’t get your dick hard.

On the flip side, because I don't want to discriminate against anyone who has a girlier style than I do, wear the rhinestone embellished pants if you want. Don't care what any man thinks, shit, don't even care what I think. Just dress for you!

But I digress a bit; this is even more infuriating because the majority of these writers are women. Seriously?! As a woman you think it’s appropriate to tell other women how they need to dress based on an insignificant percentage of men’s opinions? Thanks for setting feminism back about 50 years. The writing industry has just lost some major points. 

So here’s my take away. Dress for you, not for anyone else. Because no one else has to wear those clothes, you do, and you should feel good in them. You shouldn’t have to alter who you are or your style just to attract a man. Whatever your style is, it will attract the right man for you.

Now, stop being so concerned with what Jon from Vassar or anyone else thinks….put on whatever you want and go squat something.

Protein powders are not just for bodybuilders...so drink up!

Lately, I’ve had handfuls of people reach out to me either wanting to pick my brain or just have some questions answered regarding health and fitness. To be perfectly honest, I sometimes am taken back a bit because I never really realize that my lifestyle and/or my blog have really affected anyone in a significant manner. But even if I’ve been able to impact one person, even in the slightest bit, then I’m beyond thrilled.

I have one friend, who I love dearly, and she is always asking for advice, tips, etc. The fact that she considers me any time she needs some insight on something is extremely flattering to say the least. I think she actually helps me more than I help her, because each time she reaches out to me about something, it sparks an idea of what to write about next. This brings me to this post (and probably dozens more in the future): the importance of protein shakes. There is a common misconception that protein shakes are only for body builders, and I imagine that this false impression is mainly perpetuated by women who fear “bulking up” or men who are afraid of a strong and athletic woman. I’ll divulge more into why it’s impossible for our bodies to bulk up the way a man’s’ does for another post. But for now, here’s the skinny on why protein is more beneficial than not.

If you are involved in any type of sport or workout program, then you absolutely should be incorporating protein shakes into your day. What’s the point of protein shakes and why should you be drinking them, you ask? It’s true that you’ll be able to get an adequate supply of your daily protein & carb needs from actual food, but protein shakes are meant just to be in addition to. This is no way means that you should be using it as a meal replacement. Quite frankly, even right after a shake I’m still hungry so I prepare a meal within an hour after that. There is nothing better than real food, but most people find is unfeasible to prepare the perfectly balanced pre and post workout meal within that 30-60min time frame. They are nothing more than to provide the proper amount of nourishment right after your workout.

It can be a bit overwhelming choosing a protein powder because there are countless brands that carry a variety of different protein powders. The two types of proteins that are most commonly used are whey and casein.

Whey protein is by far the most popular type between the two and many believe is the best choice in terms of taste, quality and cost. However, another benefit that goes vastly overlooked is that it can boost the immune system. Whey protein comes in two different varieties; concentrate and isolate. Whey concentrate has a lower lactose level so it is easily tolerated by many sensitive to lactose. Whereas whey isolate is essentially fat free, this would make it a good choice if you are trying to eliminate fat from your diet. Whey protein in general is quickly absorbed by the digestive system and empties into the stomach quickly, which stimulates protein synthesis.  For this particular reason, I personally prefer whey protein pre and post workout.

Like whey, casein is a milk derived protein. It is typically much thicker than whey, due to its chemical makeup. However, the main difference is that casein has a much slower rate of digestion, which results in a steady release of amino acids. Casein proteins’ function is basically to sustain longer periods of time without nourishment (such as during sleep) so not to disrupt muscle growth. Due to this, I drink a casein protein shake right before bed.

Whey and casein can be used alone or together, but studies have shown that because whey quickly increases protein synthesis and casein blocks protein breakdown, a blend of the two would be ideal.

If you haven’t understood or heard a damn word I’ve said…let me leave you with this final thought. Protein shakes are not going to make you bulky, so drink up!

Everyone needs a progress report

If you follow this blog on occasion, you’ll notice that I’ve been a bit MIA for the last month or so. For which, I apologize for because I have so many things that I’ve been wanting to write about and address, but I just haven’t had the time. This is of course the lamest excuse in the world, because everyone uses that excuse for everything (including that they don’t have time to work out… (which is bullshit). So this post is more or less just going to play catch up, and then I’ll write about some far more interesting topics. I’m on my third month into training, and already in such a short amount of time I’ve seen some serious improvements. Since January 1st I set a list of goals I wanted to reach and certain muscles that I needed to see develop more. My first goal was that before I start cutting, I wanted to hit 130lbs. From bJanuary 1st until now I’ve gone from 118lbs to 127. I have three more pounds to go by the end of the month and I’ve hit my goal! Now before you get your panties in a twist, I’m not sitting here gorging myself with fatty and unhealthy foods. I’m doing this totally clean. I’ve stuck to my diet as strictly as I can think of how to, with the exception of a couple semi-cheat meals over the past few months. I’ve bulked up on calories, protein and carbs and minimized my cardio yet again. My next goal was indicative of the certain muscles that I knew needed to improve; like core, calves, and shoulders. Although, I was really looking to improve on my entire upper body as a whole. After months of grueling workouts, this girl finally has delts. Which may not seem like a big deal to you, but, I’ve never had any serious definition or muscle in my upper body so it’s a big deal to me. Everyone has those one or two muscle groups that just seem impossible to develop…and shoulders are certainly it for me. It seems that so far, I’m already on my way to hitting every single one of my goals so far.

It’s still an interesting concept to me, to try to put on weight. Because my entire life I’ve been trying to either maintain or wanted to lose weight. In the beginning, I felt much like a newborn just learning to use its’ legs, fumbling around and such. But through a lot of research, commitment and picking the brains of every qualified person I can get my hands on, I’ve finally gotten the hang of it. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight in a short amount of time, but it’s all been muscle and I haven’t gained any body fat…which is difficult to do when your bulking. I sometimes catch myself in the mirror, which may be a bit vain, but it isn’t for the sake of vanity or self obsession. It’s almost as if I don’t recognize myself. Not only do I not always recognize myself, I feel like I’m in someone else’s body. It’s been some getting used to, but I’m enjoying every step of the process so far.

I can’t say that I have made these progressions by diet and exercise alone. I have also been using the help of supplements. But that’s exactly what they are; supplements to your diet. I don’t ever recommend anyone relying on them. They aren’t meant to take the place of a clean diet and rigorous exercise regimen. They are simply meant to help, and they do just that. Because as soon as I started taking amino’s, glutamine and creatine, I began seeing even more results. I’ve felt more energized and stronger, which has given me a far better workout each and every time. There’s some controversy with supplements, and you have the right to say what you will about them, but no one is forcing you to take them.

So as of now, I have two-three weeks to get bigger before I start cutting. That’s when it starts to get even harder because I’ll have to start carb cycling and increasing cardio. So I’ll enjoy my carbs for as long as I can.

I’m in the midst of writing this blog fairly quickly because I’m on my lunch break, so I’m not being as in depth as I’d like to be. But my next post is probably going to be about protein shakes and more about supplements. Mainly because recently I’ve had a few friends continue to reach out to me regarding the topic. So stay tuned!

CARBS: They aren't going to make you fat...well, sort of.

In a world so hyper focused on the consumption of protein, I’ve found that far too many people fail to introduce other important nutrition components in their diet, particularly carbohydrates. I get that the health world has spent years capitalizing on the whole no carb/low carb diet craze. But let me tell you this, it’s a bunch of shit. I’m not advocating by any means that eating an entire basket of dinner rolls before dinner is in your best interest, but you absolutely need carbs in your diet. The truth is, that carbohydrates are just as important as protein is. So why are so many people neglecting this? I’ll tell you why…because for nearly two decades people (women in particular) have been told that eating carbohydrates will make them fat. Although there may be some truth backed behind that statement, it’s mostly false. Instead of listening to that propaganda bullshit, I’m going to lay out the entire truth for you. 

Before going in to detail about why your body needs carbohydrates, you should understand the difference between certain carbohydrates. There are two types of carbs; simple and complex. Simple carbs are those found in processed flours and sugary products like white bread, donuts, cakes, cookies, pasta, etc. So they provide absolutely ZERO nutritional value. When you eat these types of carbs, you will get a short lived burst of energy. Your cells only need a certain amount of glucose at any given time, in which case, the glucose that is created by these simple carbs turns into stored glycogen in the liver and/or converted into fat soon after consumption…which I’m sure is less than ideal for many of you. Complex carbs however; are generally lower in calories, higher in fiber and packed full of nutrients that are incredibly favorable to your body. Vegetables, oats, grains, quinoa, etc are all types of food with complex carbs. These types of carbs are digested slowly and aids in a more gradual release of energy. So because your body isn’t jammed with a ton of glucose at one time, your body’s cells use what it absolutely needs and only leaves a far smaller amount that will be stored as fat. As an end result, you’ll end up being fuller for longer and most likely will prevent you from overeating or craving more unhealthy treats.

Now that you understand the distinction between the types of carbohydrates, you can fully understand WHY they are so beneficial to your body. As I’ve described above, when carbohydrates are consumed they are broken down into glucose, which fuels your body with the energy it needs to make it through the day…especially when it comes time for your to hit the gym. When you are either doing some form of cardio or weight training, your carbohydrate stores run out very quickly. This is critical to understand because carbohydrates fuel your muscles and prevent your body from breaking down muscle tissue. As important as carbohydrates are for your muscles, they also aid in fueling your brain, nerve and red blood cells. Without this energy, I promise you will feel mentally sluggish and tired, and let’s face it…nobody likes feeling that way. So now I’d like you to picture yourself either playing some sort of sport or working out while your body and mind are entirely depleted of any type of energy source. How well do you think you’re going to perform? You’re muscle tissues aren’t receiving the fuel it needs and your brain is feeling quite fuzzy. So to answer my own question to you…you’re going to perform like shit.

There’s also an abundance of misinformation as to when you should consume carbohydrates. Like I’ve covered in previous posts, when you eat certain things is just as important as what you eat. I like to eat some form of complex carb with almost every meal, unless it’s late at night before bed. Who needs a burst of energy while you’re lying in bed trying to sleep? Certainly not me. The timing of your carb intake is more crucial after your workout though. During your workout, your muscles are using glucose (which is usable energy) and glycogen (which is stored energy). There will be a point when these levels are so low that exercise simply can’t continue. As such, a hormone cortisol is secreted and has incredibly catabolic effects. The cortisol eats muscle tissue for protein and converts it into glucose. This produces glucose from these amino acids into the liver and results in a loss of muscle tissue. So the 60 minutes you just spent lifting weights, really didn’t do any good if you aren’t replenishing the proper amount of carbs. Post workout your body is severely depleted of liquids, glycogen and glucose, of which you need to replenish. It is critical that you get both carbs and protein to your muscle cells as quickly as possible (within 30 minutes of exercise). The elevated insulin levels you are creating will help drive nutrients directly to the muscle cells…and what’s better than a direct route of nutrients to your muscles? Nothing.

 How much carbs to protein should you be consuming post workout? You should be following a carb to protein ratio of 2:1. The amount of which you should be consuming also is indicative of whether you are looking to remain lean or gain mass. If you are cutting, most sources suggest you factor .25 per pound of body mass and if you are looking to gain mass then factor .50. For example; I am approximately 125 pounds. So I need to consume 45 grams of carbs and 23 grams of protein per meal.

I know this is a lot of information, and can be difficult to explain and fully understand because it is so scientific. So I’ll try to conclude in as simple of a way as possible. There are good (complex) carbs and bad (simple) carbs. It’s easy to determine really, if the food has been processed in any way or has been stripped from its original form, that automatically isn’t good for you and you can be safe to assume it is packed with simple carbs. However, if you are consuming food natural from its original state and is healthy/clean food, you absolutely should be eating it. Your body needs fuel, it’s as simple as that, especially when you are highly active. It’s even more imperative to replenish any depleted levels of energy so your muscles can grow and recover as effectively as possible. So please, do your body some justice and don’t give in to the low/no carb fad. Instead, eat them (the right kind of course) and your body will thank you.

Don't let the heavy weights fool you, I still have far too many emotions

I’ve been about a month into my competition training now (25 days to be exact) and already it’s been a complete roller coaster ride and quite the learning process. My first hurdle was my eating. It’s not a challenge for me to eat completely clean, it’s been a challenge to eat as much as I need to in order to hit my calorie mark each day so I don’t hit a deficit. Eating 2,200 calories and 140 grams of protein of clean food is no easy task. That is a ton of eggs, oats, chicken, grains, nuts fruit and vegetables (which is not cheap by any stretch of the imagination). It's also a lot of time in the kitchen cooking, preparing and cleaning up all of this food for the week. I come to work every day with about 5 tubberware containers full of food, and more snacks at my desk. My colleagues must think I'm a complete nut. For the first two weeks it was almost impossible for me to hit my calorie mark, only because my body wouldn’t be able to break down and process that much food, and that’s with the addition of the mass gainer I take. I eat within an hour of waking up until about an hour before I go to bed, every 2 ½ hours. No matter what, between 2-2 ½ hours I stop what I’m doing and eat, even if I was still full from my previous meal. It’s such a concept that takes some getting used to; to eat every 2 ½ hours even if you aren’t hungry. But, scientifically, it is perfectly logical. You’re body needs fuel, especially when you’re training as hard as you’d be for competition and need to put on some weight and muscle mass, and that is really only possible to eat so frequently. It’s amazing how quickly my body has adapted to that type of eating regimen because after the first two weeks I noticed that I’d now be hungry every 2-2 ½ hours, like clockwork, and not just hungry…but starving. This has been great because now I can consume the amount of food that I need to be eating without feeling sick, full or bloated 24/7. And let’s face it, this girl loves to eat. 

Within the first month, this journey has already been mentally exhausting. It’s been more of a battle with myself more than anything actually. The past week I’ve been going through bouts of self doubt and an incredible feeling of being over whelmed. Every week I’ve been taking a picture of my body and keeping it for my own records so I can see what exactly I need to focus on and in the future I can look back and see all of my progress. I’m always researching and reading up on articles about successful fitness competitors and their regimen, journey, etc. I am in absolute awe of these women. A lot of their stories are truly inspirational…and they have kick ass bodies. I started to reflect on my own self and thought “my shoulders aren’t as big as hers” or “my abs are nowhere as defined as hers are”. I started to become extremely discouraged. But then I thought to myself “shut the fuck up Nicole, you’re being a pussy”. Here is a compilation of all the things I realized (after I literally told myself to shut the fuck up).

1. These women have worked their ass off for YEARS to attain the bodies they have. 

2. I’ve only been seriously training for one month, and the type of muscle definition and growth I’m seeking isn’t going to happen in that amount of time. 

3. Thinking negatively about the muscles I haven’t developed yet and not being proud of the progress I have made is not going to get me where I need to be.

After realizing all of this, I decided I’d never have such a negative outlook again throughout this process. I have to think positive if I want positive results. I have to take this day by day and one step at a time if I want to succeed. I have to be patient (of which is not by strongest trait by any means) because this is not an overnight process, it's a long and arduous journey. I have to stop being so critical of myself (I’m that way by nature, I blame it on my type A personality) and absolutely have to stop comparing my body to every other fitness competitor/model. Instead, I need to strive to be the absolute best that I can be, not anyone else’s best.

Most importantly, I took a step back to realize that I need to be proud of what I have accomplished and the progress I’ve made so far. Exactly one year ago, I weighed no more than 105lbs (my lowest ever in my adult life had been 95lbs). I was a cardio bunny to the max, and the few times I did weight training I could squat no more than a 50lb barbell, curl no more than 12lbs and could barely bench a 35lb barbell. I was so unhealthily thin and so incredibly weak. I have always been incredibly active and into fitness, but the past few years (of which I will divulge more about in future posts) I was solely interested in losing weight and being thin, rather than maintain/gaining weight and being fit. Flash forward to today and I currently weigh 125lbs; squat more than 200lbs, curl 30lbs, dead lift 200 and bench 125lbs. My entire outlook on fitness and nutrition has done a complete 180 (for the better) and I am the strongest and healthiest I have ever been. For only a year of serious commitment and training, with some minor setbacks, that’s a pretty incredible accomplishment. 

So after all of this, I thought to myself…”Big fucking deal if your shoulders aren’t where they need to be 6 months now, or if you’re abs aren’t as shredded as they should be or even if your traps aren’t developing as well as you wish they would be. You aren’t competing tomorrow, you’re competing in 6 months…you have time. So chill the fuck out and slow your roll”.

Needless to say, the first month has certainly had it’s ups and downs. But I figure that making the commitment in the first place is an accomplishment, and I’m only going to get better each and every day. As long as I don’t let my emotions get the best of me. Don’t let the heavy weights and lifting grunts fool you…I’m still a girl, and I still have far too many emotions.

Regardless of whether you're training for a competition or just working towards your own personal fitness/health goals, don't get discouraged. It takes time, sometimes more time than one would wish for, but it's the reality of the game. Once you realize and understand this, you won't face such an emotional battle with yourself. Set-backs happen...plateaus happen....and you'd only be human if you were to be discouraged once in a while. But fight through it all and use that discouragement as fuel for your next workout...use it for your motivation. I don't care if it takes you 3 months or 3 years to reach your goals...this is your health. Whatever you are striving for, no matter how long, hard and painful the road to achieving it may be, it's absolutely worth every tear cried, every ounce of blood bled and every bullet of sweat produced.

I'M COMPETING!

You're hearing it from me first....I'm going to start competing in fitness competitions!

I've been teetering back and forth of whether I should do this or not for months now. I was training with my trainer and he says to me, "have you ever thought about competing"? That right there, was the only reassurance I needed. I never expressed my interest to anyone about doing this, just in case I decided not to. But the fact my trainer thinks that it's something I can accomplish combined with my new "grab life by the balls" outlook on life, I decided right then and there that I'm doing it. 100%. Full throttle. No holding me back.

I've competed in pageants for years, so I'm well adjusted to competitions, stage presence, competition politics and what goes in to preparing for something like this. I've also been on stage since I was 7 years old between dance, singing and acting. Being on stage doesn't bother me, in fact, I get an incredible thrill being on stage. I think that is something that's going to be in my favor, because I'm sure that's something that many contestants have a hard time overcoming their first go around.

I've decided I'm going to dedicate 6-12 months of solid, hardcore training before I begin competing. I think I'll start with Bikini, depending on what my body is like by that time. If I don't qualify and too jacked (which I hope happens) then I'll enter in Figure instead. I'm not a patient person by any stretch of the imagination, but I want to do this right. Although, I do plan on entering smaller scale local competitions in the next handful of months just so I get a better idea of what they are all about. Also, it will be beneficial to me because I can make all of my mistakes there before I do at a larger and more prestegious competition.

From where I started from up until now, I've come leaps and bounds. Seriously a complete 180. I'm almost an entirely different person when it comes to my outlook on exercise, nutrition and just an overall healthy lifestyle. But quite frankly, I prefer it this way. I'm in good shape now, probably the best shape of my entire life. But now that I'll be competiting, I need to take my diet and fitness regimine up like 10 notches.

I already eat clean almost 90% of the time. Now I just need to be eating MUCH more than I ever have before, since I want to put on about 10lbs of muscle. Let me tell you, I've never been so full in my entire life. I eat every two hours from the moment I wake up until right about the time I go to bed. I began this new plan on January 1st, and since, I don't think I've felt hungry one time. It's been a struggle eating so frequently and so much, because that's not something I've been used to, especially when I'm not even hungry. I'm literally forcing food into my stomach because I know I have to. In two weeks I've already seen some changes in my body, and I love it. I still have a long way to go in order to achieve my goal, but it's all a work in progress.

In terms of fitness, I've completely revampled my workout routine with much heavier weights and just a completely different layout than what I've been doing. It was about time for me to switch it up anyways because I was beginning to plateau. I'm beginning to see muscles in areas of my body that I've never had developed before...like rear delts and traps. Let me assure you that when I first noticed these developments, I couldn't stop staring at them. I've cut cardio down even more than when I did before, since I'm trying to put on weight and muscle mass. Instead of doing 30 minutes of cardio four days a week, I'm doing 20 minutes of HIIT training three days a week, which is actually more effective for my goals...but that's another blog for another day. (I promise I'll post about it soon!)

I've certainly been doing my research on what I have to do in order to prepare. I won't lie, it's overwhelming. I need to consider how to train 12 and 6 months out, 18 weeks, 12 weeks and 6 weeks and 3 weeks out prior to competition. I have to learn how to pose and work the stage in order to best feature my body. I need to take into consideration competition costs, registration fees, travel expenses, posing suits, tanning products and oils  and misc. expenses. It's a plethora of different things to consider which is overwhelming at first but something I know I can do.

I'm over the moon excited for this new journey. I just want a serious goal to work towards, and this is by far the ultimate goal in my opinion. It's going to be a lot of hard work..grueling work actually. But I'm ready and can't wait to endure this journey. I'll be posting blogs periodically about what I'm doing with everything from nutrition to fitness and everything in between.

If you're one of the many haters out there, go on and hate. Judge me for trying something unattainable by many and outrageous to some. Talk shit because you think I'm going overboard and need to slow my roll. Be unsupportive in any way you want to be, because frankly, I don't care. I'm not doing this for anyone else, I'm doing it for me. If you're the few who I know will actually be excited for me and supportive of this journey, then I more than welcome your prescence in my life. Otherwise, leave me alone and let me lift.

Rest Days: A Necessary Evil

I used to be one of those people who thought in order to see significant results in your body, you’d have to train every single day of your life (I also used to think a lot of exercise myths that far too many people believe…but that’s another post for another day). I would fear I’d lose my results by taking rest days. But let me give you insight to a little secret, over training is just as disadvantageous as under training. In fact, it’s simply counter-productive. So what if I told you that it was possible to see an increase in tone, size and strength by working out less? I’ll be honest, that wouldn’t have me jumping for joy. I absolutely loathe and despise rest days, because all I want to do is go lift and I can’t allow myself to. However, for those who aren’t freaks of nature like myself, would be ecstatic at this news. As much as I hate taking them, I know that it’s a necessary evil that I must practice. Days off from exercise can provide far greater benefits than an actual workout itself, and can allow you to train twice as hard during your next session.

First of all, thinking that you are going to lose any results or progress by taking a couple rest days is absolutely ridiculous. It is not physically possible for your muscles to atrophy in that sort of time frame. So get that shit out of your head right now. Once you start realizing, thinking and implementing the idea that taking a couple rest days a week will be more beneficial to your training, I promise you’ll see greater results.

Scheduling recovery days is just as crucial as scheduling workout days. This is the time that the body adapts to the stress that exercise can put onto your body. It allows your body to replenish energy stores, repair damaged tissues and to overall just repair and strengthen your body. Without adequate time to both repair and replenish, your body will continue to breakdown and you won’t be able to develop the muscles you are working so hard to build. If you want to continue to perform at a high-level, you have to allow your body to rest. It’s as simple as that. I don’t care how strong you are, overtraining will weaken even the strongest of athletes.

Now having a rest day or two does NOT mean you can sit on the couch all day and eat like shit. Your diet should actually be even cleaner than days when you do hit the gym. A rest day simply means that you aren’t working out. But that doesn’t mean you need to let everything else go down the drain. Do the same things you’d normally do, eat the way you know you should be eating and don’t be a lazy blob.

Active Recovery & Post-Nutrition
Now there is more to recovery than just taking complete days off from the gym. Active recovery occurs in the hours immediately following an exercise routine. This is the time for soft tissues (such as muscles, tendons and ligaments) to repair and for the removal of chemicals that build up as a results of cell activity that exercise promotes. The most important component of active recovery though, is replenishing energy stores and fluids that have been lost with the proper nutrition in order to optimize protein synthesis. Nothing irritates me more than when someone just worked their ass off in the gym and they try justifying a post workout gorge-fest because “oh, it’s ok…I just worked out”. Sorry, but that doesn’t give you free reign to eat whatever you so called please. Eating the wrong foods after working out is just as bad as not workout out at all. If you don’t replenish your body with the proper nutrition, I hate to break it to you, but your workout was a waste of your time. First of all, after your workout make sure to eat within 30-60 minutes, since this is the time frame in which your muscles will do the most repairing and need nutrients in order to do so.

Post workout you should combine both carbohydrates and protein. The optimal carb to protein ratio is 4:1, four grams of carbs for every one gram of protein. Protein provides the body with the amino acids that are necessary to rebuild damage muscle tissue as well as increase the absorption of water from the intestines to improve muscle hydration. So please, be smart. Don’t gorge yourself with food after a workout. Reward your body with the hard work you just put in by giving it healthy, clean food that is jam packed with nutrients to nourish your body.

Sleep is NOT overrated
Let’s say you implement all of the above, but you don’t sleep. Hate to be the bearer of bad news (not really), but if you aren’t getting quality seep…all of the above is pointless. Strive for eight hours, but don’t get any less than seven. Otherwise, your body isn’t going to be able to repair and build your muscles. Your body needs plenty of sleep for a multitude of reasons, but if you’re throwing weights around and putting your body through extreme levels of stress, it needs enough time to recover. So shut off the TV at night, and get your ass to sleep.

SO. Do me a favor, don’t make the same mistakes I’vemade in the past withovertraining, lack of proper nutrition and especially lack of sleep. Schedule rest days throughout the week. If your body feels like it needs a rest, it probably does, so listen to it. Properly replenish with the right foods post-workout. Last but not least, make sure you get plenty of sleep.

Gym Etiquette: New Years gym noobs and regulars are not exempt.

New Years Eve resolutions never fail. Most people’s resolution after ringing in the new year is to either lose weight, tone up or just have an overall healthier lifestyle. Listen, I am all for that. I would never be unsupportive of anyone trying to improve their health. BUT, what I am not supportive of is all the New Years gym noobs who will undoubtedly join the gym for a few months before calling it quits all the while they display ZERO gym etiquette. Don’t get me wrong, there are more than enough regular gym goers who for some reason can’t understand the concept of re-racking a weight. However, it seems as though once January rolls around, all of this ridiculous nonsense is intensified.

So if you are new to a gym or even if you are a regular and you don’t practice proper gym etiquette; keep on reading. If you are the rare few who practices proper etiquette, read on anyways, as you’ll sure to get a good laugh in when you think to yourself “so true” on almost every point

1: Re-rack your damn weight. If you have the strength to pick it up, you should have the strength to put it back. That doesn’t mean drop it in on the floor in front of where it’s supposed to go. In case this explanation is still too difficult to fully comprehend, this also doesn’t mean you put the 50lb dumbbells in the 15lb spot or the 80lb barbell where the 30lb goes. It’s a simple concept really: pick it up, put it down. In the right spot.

2. You’re not using the machine? Great, now get your towel off of it. There’s nothing worse than walking up to a piece of equipment and seeing a nasty, sweaty towel on it. You’re left wasting time looking around to see if anyone is using it and interrupting those around you to ask if anyone is. It’s reckless, annoying and quite frankly…disgustingly unsanitary. So stop being lazy and take your nasty towel with you. Oh, but before you do so, wipe down your sweaty ass print.

3. Working in – just do it. Gyms have limited equipment, and especially around New Years, the gym is more crowded than ever. If someone asks you if they can work in…don’t be a douche…be considerate and allow them to. This is especially aggravating when someone does 5 reps and rests on the machine for 5 minutes before doing another set. I could have done 4 sets and been done within that amount of time. Don’t be an ass. If you don’t oblige, just remember that karma is a bitch. The next time you’re on your last exercise and need to use the leg press machine but someone won’t let you work in….I won’t feel bad for you.

4. Don’t be a pussy...leave your phone in your locker. Is it so hard to not have your phone attached to your hip for one hour? With certain situations exempt, like if you’re waiting for an important phone call or you have left your kids at home and you only feel comfortable if you have your phone with you, then stop being so reliant on technology. Man the fuck up and go workout. Besides, how do you think you’re going to get a good workout in when you’re talking/texting more than you’re actually lifting? It’s especially aggravating when you’re sitting on a machine for 5+ minutes, not doing a damn thing, and talking to your girlfriend about your new nail polish. Guess what? I don’t give a flying fuck, nor does anyone else. Guys…this goes for you too…because you are equally as guilty. & yes, if you do this, I’m calling you a pussy.

5. Curling in the squat rack. For god sakes, don’t do it! It’s called a squat rack for a reason...it’s used for squatting. How would you like it if I went and squatted in the curl rack? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

6. Stealing plates. Let me illustrate a typical scenario for you. Someone is on a bench, with fairly substantial weight on either side of the bar. They get up to get or do something. Their towel AND water are sitting on the bench. It’s apparent they are coming back. DO NOT TOUCH THEIR WEIGHT. There are a handful of other plates you can take from the weight rack. I guarantee if you take a 45lb plate from only one end (or even both) and that person comes back to finish their sets…it’s a distinct possibility they will throw a weight at your small brained head. Not only is it irritating as all hell, but if there is an uneven amount of weight on the bar, they could seriously injure themselves.

7. Lastly, don’t ogle. I get it, there are attractive people at the gym. It’s also not easy when some attention whore is dead lifting in shorts that are buried all the way up her ass crack. And some exercises would naturally put someone in fairly compromising positions; such as bent over rows, hip thrusts, glute kick backs, etc. However, it’s creepy…and weird. Just mind your own business and get to your own workout.

Now that I’ve illustrated a handful of the most highly offensive gym faux pas, please take these into consideration.  I promise you the next time you step into the gym, you won’t get the death stares from those of us who know how to re-rack a weight or two.